A nostalgic attack

It's Saturday night, and I'm laying down on my messy bed, not shower yet and my skin feel sticky but today I got half shift, an unusual moment in my workplace so I want to enjoy it a little more and since we got no water to take shower, it happens months - no water situation, but no, it's not that bad, we still have water but just small time. I don't want to move my body at all even though I really want to, not because I cant but i got sudden nostalgic attack and it feels mixed up. I'm watching a Korean variety show about actress who challenges themselves to do boxing match, I watch it every weekend but today it feels pretty different, maybe because of my PMS or it is my real feelings, actually I never know the difference. In today's episode they fought really good and it was so dramatic, and it suddenly makes me want to watch more boxing matches, and I did. It brings me a strange nostalgic waves. Reminds me of my childhood back to moments on Sunday morning with my father while he always watch his favorite boxing show. I don't know what that was since I was too young. I was just watched even though I didn't really understand the rules, I just know that they meant to hit each other with several techniques like jab and uppercut. I hated the way they looked at the end of match, always bloody and swollen but I watched it anyway and I thought it was cool. I was a testosterone queen back then, my dream was to be a boxer without even fully understand, I just feel that it was cool and my father really liked. And my dream was changed to became a football player when soccer season came. We watched soccer every evening and i really enjoyed it when people were really passionate to catch the ball and make a goal. My father was a good person but he was unlucky, or just not succes to manage himself good. Anyway he gave me pretty good memories for my childhood and also good lesson for my adulthood to not marry someone like him. My father was a good person i wish he rest in peace and I want him to know that i miss the good side of him. 

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Im listening to music with my Bluetooth headphones. My eyes probably tired of looking at screen for so long time everyday. I closed my eyes and suddenly feels like when i was at my teenage years, under 20 of myself. Who don't really need a phone and like to drowned herself in books and just use phones for music and knowledge. Ah, time flies so freaking fast that i even don't realize, but nevertheless i don't want to go back to those times, back when my life was really heavy and as a teenager i depressed a lot or a little too much. But I'm very proud of myself, keep up the good work and be the best version of you. 

I really count on you